I've completely lost sight of who I am. That part hurts more than anything.

words

I've never experienced a rut in my life where I'm unable to express myself through written words. For the first time in my life I feel like my words have absolutely no meaning. No matter how much I covey to him how uncomfortable it makes me feel, no matter how badly I try to paint an image of disrespect using words, no matter how much I convey my feelings are hurt ... these words. They have absolutely no meaning.

So why should I write anymore? Why articulate? Why express? Why communicate? Why convey? Why talk? They're just my words. They've absolutely no meaning to you, anyway.

When a woman feels like she can't communicate, then we have a problem. When a woman feels like she's being silenced, mouth cupped or ears covered or no, you don't understand. When a woman feels like she's misunderstood, then there. You have your problem. Call it hers all you want, maybe she'll take responsibility. But she'll put the blame on you 'cause as a woman her only strength is to communicate.

When you don't hear, you tell her you're not listening. When you don't understand, you tell her she's nothin'. And when you don't, you've done it. You've made her lose her cool, her glitz, her glam.

She ain't nobody special no more. She just a girl who like to talk and don't nobody ever listen.

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i just checked out master's programs and got excited to learn that Cal offers social work and sociology programs. motivation into overdrive. i may regret putting myself out there (if i don't get in.) but i won't regret putting everything i can into potential admissions.

I am the artist, I tell this pen what to do.
You give me action, I'll tell you how to react.
And with experience? Let me spell t-h-i-s--- out:

And that which makes me uncomfortable
(there I may cry about it.)
And that which makes me vulnerable
(there I may be resistance.)
And that which heals me
(there we grow strong about it.)

With this pen, I can delete
e-t-e-l-e-d- delete,
no one saw what could have been
this past was created in my mind only.

In my mind there lives a fantasy
I repeat- my mind, my body, my living disparity

I hate everything I write.
d-e-l-e-t-e-t-e-l-e-d--
you never saw what could have been,
this future I created from within.

"Miss Fajardo, it's so good to hear from you!"

I never though the first conversation I'd have with my ex boyfriend in almost a year and a half would be regarding the circumstances in which it did. That boy, still telling me the most positive things since we broke up in 2008.

When you don't have a father to tell you these things, the only other man who's seen you at your worst and still loved you for it is a good compensation.

"You deserve nothing but the best. You sound really good, like you know what you want. These are the most auspicious years of our lives. If you haven't found your gem, or someone who knows your worth, you know what you need to do."