she's got blood in her eyes for you.

The road home was long and I gave much gratitude to the solitude. I looked back for a long time in an attempt to capture the moment or the mountains or the desert sand or the sunset in my head. When I got into Los Angeles county the sights and sounds wizzed by. The traffic pushed and pulled me along. The freeways down there are so old- tire treads are worn into the asphault, gaurd rails are pushed in, and graffiti paints the signs. There was so much to look at and just like LA would yield: it went by fast. I said goodbye to my childhood neighborhood and ventured over the grapevine. The road here is long and flat and continuous and boring: Welcome to Fresno. 

When I got home I coudn't believe I made it. Full circle, right back to where I was in the beginning. I still remembered the days I'd packed to leave. Goodbye Mom, I'm leaving you now. You said to always pack a sweater- it's always better to have what you don't need, then to need what you don't have. And the ride was short but it was sweet and like every good bird I flew back home. 

I quickly went to work on changing my room (what had now become the guest bedroom and office.) I moved the bed and the desk and the dresser and then I examined what I had done and I moved it around some more and by accident it became what I hadn't intended but it was comfortable for me and I liked it. I pulled off the sheets and laid down new ones. I drilled holes in the walls and hung up photographs and laid drapes over the window. I stuck polaroids from my adventures on the walls. 

Finally I laid down. Laid down in the bed I made. And the sleep felt good.