If time is my vessel then learning to love might be my way back to sea.

And I'm sorry if I ever did anything to question yourself or to hate yourself, really. And I'm just so sorry that I was apathetic and on some days I could be moody or mean even and when I'm here there is no good, all there is is the bad. And I'm sorry you became burnt out or exhausted on me and that you devoted your time and now it's all just wasted and you'll never get it back and all you have are the memories of days that you'd rather not. And I thought everything was okay because you went that way and I went this way and sometimes we'd still wave at each other through the foothills that lay between our paths and the sky would be blue and the sun would shine white and I could see you from over there: your hat on tight and your smiles were wide. But now I realize I was smiling and waving to shadows of your arms waving up towards the birds and really you were just celebrating your freedom and you were a dancing bird and I was only waving. And it was always your back. Your back to me and I assumed I could see your bright heart. And I'm sorry for assuming but I thought things were changed and now I know time doesn't reconcile everything. 

She deserved it when he left at night and didn't come home.
And she deserved it when he pushed her real hard against the wall.
And she deserved it when he yelled in her face.
And she deserved it when he said,

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